Easter weekend

A new year has arrived.

A new me has arrived?

Or have I awaken at last at the end of someone else's road?

RIP Dad.

My 91 year old passed a day after Christmas 2023.

Goodbye sir.

Blogger

 Tammykat has designed my graphics blog and I love what she does.  She uses Artisteer, which sadly is no longer available. Is there a way to get a template coder that does exactly what is provided.. wysiwyg wise? Used to the old Netscape editor, I'm dating myself now. 

All I'm looking for is a way to update the graphics, colors, font, etc. Am aware blogger has its own and it's simple enough.. however, every time I have tried to make a banner in the past, it never aligns properly to the center. Css  coding is someplace too as I have tried that too. Can't peek at the html either as the graphics are in a separate spot and my tablet doesn't have a control plus u. That needs  laptop. 

In other news, tomorrow is Dr's appointment. Hopefully nothing major, routine blood work to see if my thyroid is still working. And my ears, my balance is off again with the bppv. Found a way to do it myself but it requires a recliner not a bed. All the tutorials on them show a person going from one side to another and then the crystals are supposed to go back.  Uhmm, not for me. I have an arthritic neck which makes it more painful and want to puke. The recliner helped tremendously when I was ill; couple of days and a week with tandem homeopathy of my pulsatilla ( sinuses). 

Later gator.

I dont understand

 Why he doesn't want me to cook his meals anymore and then he proceeds to berate me because I ate well and he didn't.. mean. Boy did I cry! I was doing so good too.

I told him I was tired too. Yeah I'm emotional.  

Just buy a microwave for crying out loud,  he says he can't afford it. 

91 year old still pushes my buttons. Swear word alert, asshole. 

Is it..

 Odd that random stuff pops up in my brain that are after the fact, "hey!, where did that come from".?

What's the difference between taking things personally versus reacting emotionally?

I've been working on myself, the marriage of meditation and mediation..

The wait of weight;

That type of thing...

Movie theater smells

 https://www.airscent.com/ambient-scenting-theaters/

I knew it! Went to see Meg 2 on Tuesday and it was entertaining.  However, it was slow beginning and as the action progressed, so did an air freshener. Why did they do it? Gross. Have to wash my hair tomorrow to get that chemical smell out. Still reeks. 

The popcorn was freshly made, butter please.. delicious but my eyes were bigger than my stomach, should have got a medium. Lunch was my favorite,  spicy cheese sauce with those fantastic pretzel bites. Tried that starry soda.  Meh. Told the cashier to check the fountain bag as it tasted like it was at the end. Fountain soda is completely different than a can, it's more concentrated. They're also a pain to fill. That was one I didn't like when I worked as a cashier a very long time ago. 

Not Ourselves

Stagnant

 My energies are stagnant; must be a retrograde somewhere? I am very sorry that money was wasted on that template toaster software!, they didn't respond to facebook instant messages. Wish I could get that money back!!! ohhh what is wrong with me. sighs. That's money not coming back. I found it rather odd designing with it; lack of video tutorials for one. Documentation was okay. My ego jumped then fell like humpty dumpty. Lesson learned?... stop repeating the same mistakes. 

At least with the blogger guide am able to get something going. Really didn't want anything splashy for a creative writing blog to begin with. Its on the raw side now, like the episode of Spongebob where he became abrasive. 

My heart is still heavy with emotional trauma from the two prior days. Reality bites back? or am I living in a dream world again, where visions of dancing with actor Andy Garcia abound?  sighs

bye for now

p.s.- need to bring out that creative writing journal I bought a couple years ago from Five Below. Never used it and am thinking it may be an outlet for blogging as well. Time to put my thinking cap on. 

Experiment in reverse psychology

 You cannot tell me that reverse psychology doesn't exist. I tried doing the same thing my 91 year old dad does, Lmao. Oh holy cow, can we say hypocrite really LOUD! 

Let me get this straight... you can close my door when you get cold and force me to turn my heat up... which is fine..

I can close my door when I am cold and turn the heat up. You open the door and tell me not to because you're cold and you need the heat... 

There's no logic in this, is there? You can’t have it both ways... 

Makeover ideas..

Need ideas to redesign this blog to represent what the themes are... but I like the header, it's the layout that gets boring. 

Idk if anyone reads my blog...

Used to have one called review gurl.. self explanatory.  There's no one theme here though that's why I called it an oddball aisle of alphabet soup! 

And there's nothing wrong with that...

Something encouraging. 

Don't like the new layout /theme builder they put in. Frustrating to say the least. 

Went back to genealogy and my, oh.. my. Such revelations from myheritage. Won't go into it now... later gator.

Campfire story

 Ok. So this was written as a Halloween challenge in a graphics forum am a member of. Really had me thinking about the holiday and relaying experiences through storytelling. I've never thought of this before!... what if... what if my poetry words stumble a little, just a little...

and a horizon forms in parallel. This has happened before!- previous spiritual blog, 13 years ago. 
Alas... halloween energies that surprise! 
Spiritual trangressions of the third kind was the title of that blog. 

How about using my trauma/past experiences to write a story??? 

I had to come back to this because my brain froze. After reading some of the posts, decided to start writing. Picture if you will, a 7 year old girl. Grows up with 4 older brothers, she's the last child and only girl. She's not a troublemaker, doesn't lash out and shows courtesy as much as possible.

She sleeps in a room, alone; and can't figure out if her dreams are real or a nightmare. An experience based on unknown trauma carries her- three times within her life. At age 30 and 44, the same dream/nightmare projects itself into her soul. 

Now some people may call what she has experienced as an OBE or out of body experience. Hypnosis doesn't help uncover why this has happened to her nor does self help youtube sleep meditations.

Until...

her beloved best friend crossed over. She searches for her friend to at least gain some mental clarity. 

However, mom, always told her that she'll be okay as you can always talk to her- out loud or even a silent prayer.  ..." You must remember that not everything is black and white nor can you keep walking down the straight and narrow. " ---- MOM quote. 

" What am I seeing? I see myself sliding across the wall then upwards towards the ceiling and stayed there. Floating above but underneath... voided." 

What happened to her???? ... to be continued... ?

Scatterbrain

I'm a scatterbrain.

No. I do not eat green eggs and ham 

NOR DO I 

fry them in a pan. 

See what I did there?  

You have to fry them first..

Then eat em.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

O C.D 

On..

Command..

Direction. 

Fear is a funny thing. 

LOL?

OHMMMM?

channeling... my inner guides.

Are needed in these stressful days of reawakening. 

REST

Really 

Effective 

Spirit 

Transmissions

encrypted mind over..

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Still

The sun is out. Nice cool breeze against my skin giving me goosebumps. Not feeling too inspired to blog but am having some difficulty finding my brain lately. Like stillness. 

Just don't know what is wrong with me. Or if there is something wrong. ?

blank page

Blank. Mind 

Void...

Boredom...

Neural neutral nonsense.

Brain hum

Brain hums; new layout coming soon.

Reflection on theme and style

Hot wind, new direction..

future life promises peace

Cold air, shadows no longer lurk

Wild spirit meet child within. 

The 2 t's

Tired but.. 

Not tired. 

Just, rest. 

Weekend or weak end?