Greetings to my garden variety blog...
it's been awhile since written and so far, flowing with the tides has me gasping for some form of normalcy in a crazy world.
Miss the back yard and feeding the birds, it made me happy.
Some or should I say, almost all, articles now will focus on the good or bad of the year; the in memory,etc.
Is there some disconnect or is it just me that because of a holiday, I'm suppose to grasp what and why the world changes as often as I change my underpants?
Well..
Trying to focus on types of energies has zapped me so I sleep...a lot. That's to be expected; but do NOT expect to keep explaining. Is there a need? Does anyone really care anymore?
Have we gone completely plum loco?
Am reacting to horrific news from France. What that man did to his wife is inexcusable.
The mental health debate should not be a stigma anymore; it should be addressed but unfortunately we are in a false "woke" space.
There are things that don't phase me as much; importance is placed where it is supposed to be needed not wanted? Just because you desire should not excuse poor behavior, or in my case, anti-social naivety due to years and years of coddling.
Don't know what to do? Find a hobby that interests you, try getting back into a hobby you once enjoyed but pace yourself. High hopes vs low expectations is allowed because it is a way of healing. It is a part of that "essence" of things you have no or alot of control over. And by this I mean, anxiety, panic attacks, low self esteem, emotional abuse, the whole ball of wax that binds and you try desperately to unwind. It's too tight...
Loosen the grip... on yourself.
Going through mixed emotions in the next phase of my life.
Apartment was approved and we see it tomorrow.
Hard to explain all the mixtures of emotions between my actions and behavior because I've been oppressed too long due to various abuses that still scar. The invisible ones turn me inside out;reacting emotionally. I just said that didn't I? Oh dear.
Just because my 91 year old dad passed on last year, doesn't mean I cannot blog about the journey he put me through...
Just because... he dictated my life.
Just because... he was a very lonely man who alienated his family.
Just because... he was emotionally abusive.
Just because... I still cry in my pillow and hold my securities; my stuffed animals, a cow named Bessie my mom gave me and a marshmallow stingray.
Just because... to be continued.
